Episode #218 - What if They Don't Launch?
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Here’s a parent’s worst nightmare. You look upstairs one day and your 27 year old son is still living in the same bedroom in your house that he occupied since the 8th grade! Somewhere along the line, this young man…failed to launch. Listen in this week as the guys discuss this growing phenomenon.
Helicopter parenting - hovering over your child to rescue whenever bad happens
Lawnmower parenting - clearing the path for your child so that nothing bad happens to them
Helicopter and lawnmower parenting cripples our children
Our kids an just "roll over" due to pressure/anxiety. Pressure from parents, school, friends, self, culture - can lead to kids that are anxious about adulthood and therefore just decide to give up.
Parenting is an 18 year process of deparenting.
When they are young we as parents are supervisors, when they're teenagers we are managers, and when they are adults we become consultants.
Grace ceases to be grace if it occurs too often, it then becomes an expectation
If you have an adult child still in your home that is failing to launch:
1. Begin mourning the loss of your child and accept them as adults
2. Have a clear written agreement on A) responsibilities they have with them still being in your home, B) a defined date when they must leave, C) creating a list of skills they need prior to leaving and D) a list of ways you might assist them financially even after they are gone. NOTE: Any assistance once they're gone needs to have an end date as well.
3. Risk them failing once gone - failure is one of life's great teachers
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Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com
The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com