Episode #193 - Freeze and Flee


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I remember once watching John Wayne in an old movie (As every red-blooded American male should do, at least once a month) as he was waiting on top of the wall at the cavalry outpost for an attack from the marauding Indians. He said to a much less experienced soldier, “It’s quiet…too quiet.” In other words, when it gets too quiet, it’s all about the hit the proverbial fan! Freeze and Flee, the last of Sue Johnson’s Demon Dialogues, has to do when couples reach the point of giving up. When it gets quiet…too quiet. If you find yourself or someone you love in this desperate state, listen in as the guys help you not get scalped. Or, or you know what I mean.

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Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

Part 1 and 2 in this series: Plank and Spec Episode

Protest Polka Episode

If you are stuck in the 'freeze and flee' dialogue:

- Share with your spouse a cue that begins the distancing process

- Recognize what you are telling yourself that keeps you separated

Problem solve, discuss with spouse:

When you do _____ I don't feel safely connected to you. Then I tend to _______. I do it in the hopes that ________. And as this pattern keeps going, I feel _________. The more I __________, the more you _______. Maybe we can warn each other when this starts.

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

Gottman's Stonewalling

Josh's Solutions:

Realize you are the problem in your marriage (humility and repentance)

Seek counsel

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

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