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We talk all the time about how we need to choose which battles are worth having with our kids, but the same is true in our marriages. There’s a difference between an irritant and a “deal breaker.” So where is that line drawn? How do we know when to let an issue go with our spouse? Better yet, CAN we let an issue go? Listen in as the guys get out their sidewalk chalk and show us where to draw healthy conflict boundaries.
John Gottman Research
"First bucket - Personal Preferences - things that minimally (if at all) impact your life"
"Second bucket - Infractions - things that impact your life but aren't deal breakers"
Third bucket - Deal breakers - things that are separation worthy."
For personal preferences - mention to your spouse that you'd like this to change and then get over it"
For infractions - mention to your spouse you'd like it to change, bring in a 3rd party to speak to you and your spouse (counselor, and then get over it"
For deal breakers - mention it to your spouse, seek 3rd person counsel and then potentially separate from spouse.
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